AUGUSTE

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To be yourself, just yourself, is a great thing

Henry Miller ‘The Smile at the Foot Of the Ladder’

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tiny tunes for the spheres

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multum, non multa (Pliny)

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I thought about my small victories and everything I’d seen destroyed, I’d swum through mink coats on my parents’ bed while they hosted downstairs, I’d lost the only person I could have spent my only life with, I’d left behind a thousand tons of marble, I could have released sculptures, I could have released myself from the marble of myself. I’d experienced joy, but not nearly enough, could there be enough?

Jonathan Safran Foer

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

I ONLY COME TO LIFE

WHEN PEOPLE ARE WATCHING

Red Skelton
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K D Lang
Constant Craving
from Ingenue
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alt
σαμερμιξβολσιξ
λασκαρισμεν videoμπλογκ
τσιρκοσιξ

PRESSURE

I am not a sad clown. I am not a sad clown.
Nathan Lane
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...and then when I went to Chicago, that's when I had these outer space experiences and went to the other planets.
Sun Ra
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If your god bestows protection upon you
And if the USA doesn't bomb you
I believe I will see you somewhere safe
Looking to the camera, messing aroundand pulling faces.
Morrissey - I Will See You In Far Off Places

nunc stans

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rock n roll
Mayday! Mayday!
We gotta rock n roll
Get outta this place
'cuz it's gonna blow!
we're headin' back to foxbase by the sea...
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twins? ja?!
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both directed by Philippe Decouflé
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For a breeze of morning moves,
And the planet of love is on high,
beginning to faint in the light that she loves
On a bed of daffodil sky,
To faint in the light of the Sun she loves,
To faint in his light, and to die.
Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 'Maud'
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play : πλέει
news : νους

famous blue cloud suit

If there are twelve clowns in a ring, you can jump in the middle and start reciting Shakespeare, but to the audience, you'll just be the thirteenth clown
Adam Walinsky
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a definition for AUGUSTE

Accompanying a circus clown, as part of a troupe, or as one of a clown duo, there is often another clown character known as an auguste, but the auguste's role is different from the other clowns: he is the "straight man" in most gags. The Auguste is so self-important that the audience inevitably takes the other clown to heart as their protagonist. 'The Great Bongo' (of the duo Bongo and Clownzo) is an Auguste clown, which moniker he might assure you means "dignified and respectable". In classical European circus the auguste wasn't considered a clown because, technically, his or her role was different. The Auguste is the one who gets the pie in the face, is squirted with water, is knocked down on their backside, sits in the wet paint or has his or her pants ripped off.

(from Wikipedia)

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REVEAL / REVEL (or Tears Of A Clown)

Tears Of A Clown

by Smokey Robinson
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Now if there's a smile on my face
It's only there trying to fool the public
But when it comes down to fooling you
Now honey that's quite a different subject
But don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Really I'm sad, oh I'm sadder than sad
You're gone and I'm hurtin' so bad
Like a clown I pretend to be glad

Now there's some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown, when there's no one around
Uh hum, oh yeah baby

Now if I appear to be carefree
It's only to camouflage my sadness
And honey to shield my pride I try
To cover this hurt with a show of gladness
But don't let my show convince you
That I've been happy since you
Decided to go, oh I need you so
I'm hurt and I want you to know
But for others I put on a show, ooh yeah

Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my surface hid
Smiling in the public eye
But in my lonely room I cry
The tears of a clown
When there's no one around, oh yeah, baby baby
Now if there's a smile on my face
Don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Don't let this smile I wear
Make you think that I don't care
When really I'm sad, hurting so bad

SMILE

If you’re feelin’ under the weather
Slightly helter, or even skelter
Why don't ya leave it
Yeah, Let it all fall down
Smile,
You haven’t done that in a while -
Try,
try not to,
let it bring you down.
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e.s july 2006
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At night I lie awake
in the ruthless Unspoken,
knowing that planets
come to life, bloom,
and die away,
like day-lilies opening
one after another
in every nook and cranny
of the Universe
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Diane Ackerman from 'The Planets: A Cosmic Pastoral'
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SHIP OF FOOLS



Erasure
from
The Innocents
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5 months left till : Christmas eve !
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OLE!?

send in the clowns

Send In The Clowns

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped
Opening doors,
Finally knowing
The one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again
With my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want -
Sorry, my dear.
And where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year . .
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by Stephen Sondheim
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The 'great lights', as the Sun and Moon are described in Genesis make a matched pair. For although the Moon measures only one four-hundredth the Sun's million mile diameter, it nevertheless lies four hundred times closer to Earth. This uncanny coincidence of size and distance enables the puny moon to block out the Sun whenever the two bodies converge on their shared path across Earth's sky.

Dava Sobel in The Planets

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...and i can feel it in the air

it's better with you around

and i can feel it getting better

Captain, 'Glorious' (from 'This Is Hazelville')

GALILEO

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David Bowie, Life On Mars?
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Man is a microcosm, or a little world, because he is an extract from all the stars and planets of the whole firmament, from the earth and the elements; and so he is their quintessence.
Philipus Aureolus Paracelsus
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How long till my soul get’s it right
Can any human ever reach that kind of light?
Indigo Girls, Galileo
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The more you try to erase me, the more that I appear
The more I try to erase you, the more that you appear
Thom Yorke, from 'The Eraser'
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for the death of all analysis ...

SATURNALIA

Saturn brings not only physical decay, but also a vision of fulfillment
Holst, on Saturn
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I remember in the circus learning that the clown was the prince, the high prince. I always thought that the high prince was the lion or the magician, but the clown is the most important.
Roberto Benigni

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...and another robert!

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ROBERT PLANT - LITTLE BY LITTLE

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...and one more that saves the day - and the planet from destruction!

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Perhaps when distant people on other planets pick up some wavelength of ours all they hear is a continuous scream.
Iris Murdoch

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you scream? ice cream?

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reveille

i took a wrong turn at reveille

found myself in a coral valley

was a seamount at unrest

set on th'idea of self to crest

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O FOR TUNA

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You can tune a piano
But you can’t tuna fish

BOB

News came down
Across this town
Bob had to go
Where we just don’t know
Before he left he said ‘Don’t worry’
If anything, it is a reason to rejoice

it could happen to you

News came down
With the brand new sound
Don’t be sad
‘cuz I’ll be sad too -
and don’t crack jokes ‘bout hung halo
It could happen -
even to you

TODAY

News came down
Heads counted – OK!
If only,
if only,
if only,
If only for today
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SMASHING PUMPKINS – TODAY
from SIAMESE DREAM
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here / now

The here and now
Is the only thing for which I pray

lighthouse

News came down,
…he will remember all of this --
What he saw through our own eyes,
everything we showed him,
‘cuz we knew that he was blind...

WHEN I WOKE

News came down.
When I woke
I took a long hard look -
Where there were once wounds
There was no sign,
No scar.

HAPPY / SAD

I’m happy sad, he said
‘Please lay me by the sea’
I’m happy sad, he said
‘Please leave me, let me be’
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the title of this post courtesy of Tim Buckley

what is the light?

He came from very far-
Perhaps it was a star
Someone who saw him leave said
'There was so much light'
and swore
'I’ve never seen a scene half as bright'
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the title of this post courtesy of The Flaming Lips

TONIGHT

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Tonight I don’t feel
Like crying myself to sleep
and if I do
perhaps the tears will be
of joy
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SMASHING PUMPKINS – TONIGHT TONIGHT
from MELLON COLLIE AND THE INFINITE SADNESS

NEKYIA

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for Pop Kinderpop (July 6, 1941 - July 31, 1991)
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THE WILDERNESS YEARS
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Some people come closer after a thing like that…but we just drifted apart…I remember counting the days to get out of that place and then I finally did and just didn’t look back…and then, years later, I came back and everything had changed and I decided to leave again…and then years after that I came back and mama came down to the port to pick me up and I had put on lots of weight and had long hair and a beard and I stood in front of her and I swear she didn’t recognize me…and I said ‘mama’ and opened my arms and she bit her lower lip - the way she does - and hugged me and I could tell I’d be sticking around for a while.

PUZZLE / ISLANDS

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PUZZLE
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I went for a long walk down by the seaside with all my friends.
Have fun?
Well, fresh air, at least.
Good enough.
That night I slept with K for the first and last time.
I know. I remember…
But we didn’t do anything.
You think I’d mind?
I dunno…maybe yes …maybe no…
Try no.
Well I realized that much … later, as I got to know you a bit more through the stories of others. I’m still putting the puzzle pieces together.
I hope I warranted one of them thousand piece ones.
Of course you did
Is it almost complete?
Not even close.
Cool…
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ISLANDS
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So, are you going anywhere special this summer?
Yep. I’m gonna go to this island I discovered last summer, T--, it’s behind K--, they used to be connected but they got separated after an earthquake…
Earthquakes have that effect sometimes…
If you get on a boat you can see the pillars and ruins of the ancient town under the water …
Sounds fascinating!
It is. And on the island there are no cars, and only one moped - But everybody has their own little boat and they use ‘em all the time to go to K— to run errands and whatever…it’s outta this world.
How are the beaches?
We weren’t that lucky last summer. There are only two beaches and there was a jellyfish convention at one of them, the larger one, so everybody ended up at the nudist beach.
How was that?
Very fleshy…
I can imagine. Where else are you gonna go?
I’m thinking bout making my way to A—
Really?
Yeah, it’s been a no-no for all these years, for the obvious reasons…
I can imagine…
But I think the time has come to face all my demons, and that sure is one of them…
I think you’ll like it. It’s a great place…
So I’ve heard.

I CAN'T REMEMBER A SINGLE JOKE

You always used to make everyone laugh so much with your jokes. That’s one of the things I remember most from all those years ago. You in the middle and everyone else around you laughing till they wet their pants. You seemed to know all the jokes in the world…and your delivery was always spot on. People loved having you around, and they sorely missed you when you were gone. To this day people- when they realize who’s son I am - tell me what a great person you were and most of them smile and some add what a funny guy you were. I think I got a bit of your wit. I hope I did. It comes out in different ways. But let me tell you something I’ve never managed to fathom….I can’t remember a single joke anyone tells me…ever!

I USED TO BE

Do you remember? Whenever there was an argument or somebody raised there voice to somebody else in a dispute…there you’d be, mediating…it was the funniest thing…wasn’t a gap you couldn’t bridge…and people would listen to you…and not only ‘cuz you were so amusing. Your brothers would call you 'The Peacemaker', but you didn't like that too much. That was one of your more endearing traits as a kid.

take a picture

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You got into photography a bit too.
Yeah, for a little while..
Thanks for the pic on the tomb.
You’re welcome. Hmmm… I took that one at a parade on the island. I think it was 1990…must have been October 28th. . I remember taking that pic. Who would have known that it would end up…Hey! Can you answer a question for me?
Shoot away…
What do you think of fake plastic flowers?
Same difference…
Hmmm...
I assume you don’t like the idea?
I think I’d like something in a pot. Actually, I want to be cremated. I think they have found a way to work around it here, these days. They send the body to Bulgaria or wherever and have it done there and send it back.
I’m sure your mother loves that idea.
Yeah, she finds it absolutely thrilling.
So why’d’ya stop taking pictures?
I dunno…I guess it stopped being fun. The darkroom became kindalike a cave for me. I had to escape.
You ever consider going digital?
Yeah..but I went theoretical, instead.
You always had that tendency.
I know. I took it one step further and ended up in admin…hmmm
What?
I think I just found another pattern…
They’re everywhere, aren’t they?

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TAKE A PICTURE
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by FILTER

BORNE

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Do you still paint?
Not anymore, not really. I doodle sometimes. I got into writing…
You were always into writing.
Yeah, well, I got more into it.
Have you published anything?
Just a few articles here and there… and I self financed a collection of poems, but let’s not go there.
Why not?
Terrible, terrible…
Why?
Maybe I wasn’t ready…
Hmmm…and?
There was a spelling mistake…
A spelling mistake?
A major one.
Are there minor ones?
Not really, I guess.
Which word?
Borne. I forgot the ‘e’.
Oh my…
I know…I still see that ‘e’ in nightmares sometimes
Get over it! So, you haven’t written since?
Well I keep a journal on line. Hey…have you heard of the internet? You weren’t around when that…
I know about the internet... So, do you still give them titles?
Yep!
What are you calling the current one?
The Deep Sea Bop of Friendrick Kinderpop.
Good one!

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JUMBO by UNDERWORLD
from BEAUCOUP FISH

DIZZY

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So how has life been treating you?
I dunno. I’m living in a city again. I never seem to learn. I guess I’m not a city boy…
Actually, you used to love visiting cities. So much to see… You’d just try to take it all in. They’d drive you crazy, in a good way. Remember when we went to NY in ‘91?
Of course…Just before…it’s almost like you knew or something.
Maybe I did. Remember when we parted and met up again back at your aunt’s afterwards and I’d been mugged?
And I didn’t believe you…
It really happened!
Sorry…I was so mean to you on that one…
It’s OK
But in my defense, I was sixteen! I hated the world
Oh?! You don’t anymore?
Do I hate the world?
Do ya?
I don’t think I hate it. But it does make me dizzy. Some times I think I wanna get off.

board or plank

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How have you been?
Well, I’m not sure if I’ve totally messed up or if I’m doin’ fine. It’s really thin..the line.
You always were a worrier…
I guess so
And you always feared them headlong dives. Do you remember how, at the Y, you spent three terms as a polliwog, just because you were afraid to jump off the board?
I think I was a minnow, and that was a plank!
It was just a board…

the strangest day

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How did I look?
I never saw you.
Why not?
I didn’t want to remember you that way.
It might have helped you.
Maybe…
That day - I hung around afterwards - you sat on the porch with a book. I think it was Camus or Zweig. You couldn’t take two words in.
That was the strangest day…

not a word

We had a big pyjama party, ordered pizzas, watched videos, smoked cigarettes. In the morning we woke and R’s mom called and said that it was serious. You were already gone. I went to shave the few whiskers I had off, and uncle G came by. He had tears in his eyes. I saw him through the mirror and cut myself. He didn't have to say a word.